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Joke of the Day

"Are you the Proletariat? Because I feel an uprising in my lower class."

"What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up."

"How do fish make calls? On a shellphone! My 7 year old self was very proud of coming up with this one...."

"How are anal sex and spinach the same? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you're going to hate it as an adult."

"A buddy of mine told me he thinks I'm OCD the other day... I told him he was out of his place."

"A shout out to all of the beautiful women who don't need to dress trashy to attract a man..... But party at my place for all those who do"

"What's the similarity between smoking a cigarette and eating pussy? The taste changes the closer you get to the butt."

"Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse I'm thinking about letting her in."

"Families are like onions.... Watching them be cut into small pieces will make you cry."

"Two antenna met on a roof... fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was *excellent*."