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Joke of the Day

"Why don't professional athletes ride bikes to warm-up before games? Because then they'd be two tired"

"How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb? Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of."

"We are in the golden age of watching videos on your phone."

"My daughter wants to know when the hamster we ""planted"" in the garden will start growing."

"My grandfather developed cancer in his early twenties. He is considered to be the most evil scientist that ever lived."

"My Asian friend bought a dog today! Guess how much they got it for? $5.50 per pound."

"Little joke I thought of: What do you call a duck being kidnapped? An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door."

"I bought a My Little Pony T-shirt the other day. Because sometimes I just don't want anyone to approach me for any reason at all."

"Born Too Late To Explore The Earth, Born too early to explore the galaxy, Born at just the right time to have sex with virtual reality anime chicks."

"If you tell your girlfriend you think the girl at in the corner shop fancies you, you'll never have to pop out to get bread and milk again"