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Joke of the Day

"How do you make holes in a fire? With a fire drill."

"Dragons have tattoos of Asian chicks on their backs."

"Why do some places have keys for the restroom? They're afraid somebody might steal their shit."

"What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window? The restraining order"

"Me: Doctor, it hurts when I go like this. Doctor: You're not doing anything. You're just sitting there being alive. Me: Exactly."

"So Sports Authority is going out of business. I hear their competitors are real Dicks."

"Why are there no homosexual traffic lights? They can't change, even if they try."

"Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle? A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'"

"Did you know a cat can jump higher than a house? This is due to the fact that cats have very powerful hind legs and that houses can't jump."

"if ur sad abowt not havin an valentien on valentienz day remembr dat sum ppl do'nt hav an patrik on st patriks day"