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Joke of the Day

"According to FOX News, the Celtics lost because Obama did nothing to stop Kobe."

"I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything."

"What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors."

"Paranoid Mexicans have a Hispanic room."

"Sometimes when I'm about to sneeze, I snort some glitter. Then when I finally sneeze, glitter fills the air and people think I'm a wizard."

"""When it rains, it pours."" -Shitty weatherman"

"I asked my 5yo not to do something, and he just smiled maniacally and nodded his head until I gave up. I'm going to try this on my wife."

"How did the pig get to the hospital? in a hambulance."

"What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They drive slow in school zones"

"My new hobby: Seeing animals in old films like westerns, and saying ""I can tell you something about that animal."" ""It's dead now."""