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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the iron-stealing, oxygen-depleting metalloproteins that lurk in the red blood cells of all vertebrates? Hemogoblins."

"99% of lawyers ... . . . give the rest of us a bad name."

"Why is Barbie never pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box."

"I named my hard drive That Thang, so once a month my computer asks me if I want to Back That Thang Up."

"The blood moon last night got me so excited I was over the moon!"

"Mommy told me I should make some friends So I became a necromancer"

"Three legged dog A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: ""I'm lookin' for the man who executed my father."""

"Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor? ""STOP RESISTING!!!"""

"Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)"

"[grocery shopping] ""Actually it should be 15 items or FEWER"" I'll fix that sir [grabs mic] CUSTOMER NEEDS HELP FINDING EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS"