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Joke of the Day

"Why did the USA invade Panama? Just 'Cause"

"If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package."

"[boss's office] I'm tired of staff that think they know everything! Do you know what I mean, Murray? ""No, sir"" I like your style, Murray."

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"How many spoiled rich girls does it take... ...to change a light bulb? Just one, she yells, ""DAAAAADDY, I need a new house!"""

"Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that."

"Did you hear about the tourist who visited France? He went to Paris and saw an Eiffel"

"I had phone sex for the first time the other day... My dick got stuck in the 8! I tried to dial 911 but that just made it worse! It was a rotary!"

"I'll never understand cannibalism... But to eat your own."

"['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium? They're calling it the Mac-Arena."