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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry this birthday cake suffered a severe accident where my hand fell into it and a chunk of it filled my mouth."

"What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing? Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name?"

"Cops got new drunk driving tests. There's one they pull out a wallet-size photo of Whoopi Goldberg & ask you, 'Is she attractive?'"

"My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word ""cunt."" I suppose she has a point, I really should make an effort to learn her mother's real name."

"Let's have some fun! I'm up for anything today!* *As long as there aren't too many stairs."

"John Cena woke up from a coma John Cena: Where am I? Nurse: ICU John Cena: No you don't. Edit: double enter"

"What has bottom on the top? Legs."

"The most artistic boxer Just watched some Evander Holyfield highlight videos. Such artistry! He's like the Vincent Van Gogh of the boxing world."

"2015 twilight zone episode abt me wanting to get jacked so my clothes fit better but then I get so jacked they look too tight and weird"

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young for you? You have to make airplane noises to put your dick in her mouth"