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Joke of the Day

"A man sat on a baguette pointy end up. He claimed it was ""a pain in the ass""."

"hello poison control. i need some poison asap, my kid is being a real piece of shit. yes i'll hold."

"I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music."

"34% stats on reddit are made up. . . Like your love life."

"How do you know when you're REALLY drunk ? ANS - When you are lying face down in your front lawn and you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off."

"Idiot college called, they want there mascot back."

"What did the lead researcher say when all of her colleagues were complaining about the experiment? ""I don't care et al."""

"Here's a tip for when you're feeling shit. Wear gloves"

"I hate when I can't remember if my wife and I are in love or fighting. So, I'm like a minesweeper in the mornings."

"How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words? Is it in yet? How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words? I don't know."