164915

Joke of the Day

"I hate when I can't remember if my wife and I are in love or fighting. So, I'm like a minesweeper in the mornings."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef"

"When I die... I just want 2016 to be my pallbearer, so it can let me down one last time."

"the C in CNN stands for cterrible"

"Women are like concrete.. You've gotta keep 'em wet and moving 'til you're done laying it."

"What do you call a group of rabbits, standing single file, hopping backwards? A receding hare line!"

"My trainer told me she's sick of me pretending to be a detective. I hit her with a Thunderbolt and locked her in her own Pokeball."

"Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He's very serious about trying to make the USA grate again."

"I don't get why lesbians are called dykes. People keep explaining to me, but the idea just doesn't hold water."

"Why did the cultists drink the Kool-Aid? To get to the other side."