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Joke of the Day
"A photon walks through a bar"
Next Joke
"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."
"Three really fat girls were cramped under one umbrella. Why didn't any of them get wet? It wasn't raining."
"*steals machine parts all year* *gets coal for xmas* ""Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber"" *turns coal into diamond*"
"it has been suggested that men think about sex every 8 seconds I can tell you that's a complete phallus"
"Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble."
"I loved church when i was little, but what i hated was all the standing up, and sitting down and kneeling I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me already."
"poor guy. The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries... Until I unpacked them all & said, ""That's how I want you to do it."""
"An elephant [NSFW] What does an elephant use for a vibrator? An epileptic."
"Why are power tools good for bank robberies? They know the drill."