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Joke of the Day

"Abortion - it really brings out the child in you. Anyone got any similar puns? Also: - 9/11 jokes are just plane rude."

"Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet."

"What do you call a whirlpool in a church? Holy water!"

"When is it too cold to build a snowman? When the frostbite is worse then the frostbark."

"what's the worst thing about a pi eating contest? it never ends"

"Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking."

"What do you call a man who is attracted to black guys? A homiesexual!"

"Give a dog a bone and he'll be like, ""Oh wow, I love these, thanks"" Teach a dog to bone and he'll be like, ""dude, I got this"""

"Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer... She says, ""Great, some asshole's got my pen."""

"There are some horrible bastards about I heard a cat crying outside my door and I saw 4 blokes in Chelsea shirts playing football with it I was just about to phone the RSPCA when the cat went 1- 0 up"