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Joke of the Day

"Which band does Donald Trump dislike the most? Foreigner."

"ME: I propose teaching pandas to play pattycake bec- ZOOKEEPER: How do you keep getting in here? ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out."

"What did the doctor say about the organ donor which died from a clotted artery? ""at least his death wasn't in vein"""

"Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done."

"My mom yelled at me when I said I have never used a condom. Then I told her it was because I'm a virgin at 24 years old. So, my dad yelled at me instead."

"What do you call a deaf dog? It doesn't matter, it can't hear you anyway."

"Thanks to the Fed continuing to print money, a picture is now only worth 583 words."

"I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket. 'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'"

"If there's more than one apocalypse, is it apocalypses or apocali? I just want to be ready."

"What do you call it when a midget realizes he's gay? Coming out of the cupboard."