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Joke of the Day

"ME: I propose teaching pandas to play pattycake bec- ZOOKEEPER: How do you keep getting in here? ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out."

"What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we're all white."

"Not to brag but I'm never late for work without a good reason. For example this week my boss is on vacation..."

"I'm not redneck! I'm from Texas! We ride horses. They ride their cousins."

"What college tuition assistance system program did Simba put in place once he became the Lion King? The MUFAFSA."

"A seal walks into a bar.... And the bartender says, ""what are you going to have?"" The seal replies, ""anything except Canadian club."""

"YOLO You Only Love Owls."

"Did you hear Seinfeld on political correctness? He really went on the offensive about it."

"I married a chinese millionaire Ka Ching"

"What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer ? I.C. !"