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Joke of the Day

"How do you surprise Helen Keller? Leave a plunger in the toilet."

"Why is the area between the boobs and the ass called the 'waist?' Because you could easily fit two more boobs down there."

"I hate school and got caught skipping the other day... My principal said, ""Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."""

"A feminist and a reddit admin walk into a bar... Just kidding, they couldn't fit through the door."

"What's a woman's best curve? Her smile."

"Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought ""a"" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine"

"My new years resolution is 1200x800"

"Who's the roundest knight at King Arthur's Table? Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi."

"What do you call a cow that has abortion? Decaffeinated"

"I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead."