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Joke of the Day

"Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car? So he always hits the green when he's driving."

"What do you call a pregnant nun who cycles to church everyday? No seriously, a friend asked me this and I didn't know."

"I had 2 big surprises today. The first one was that the Thai massage centre at the bottom of my road is actually a brothel..."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they're fucked."

"Remember not to laugh at your ex wife's choices. You were one of them."

"My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon It never really took off."

"I bet if Leornardo DiCaprio has a kid... he names it Oscar so he can finally have one."

"Wanna hear a clean joke? Johnny took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the girl next door."

"Is your wife buying too many shoes? Cut her feet off. There, done."

"Why don't the Borg procreate naturally? Because they prefer artificial assimilation."