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Joke of the Day

"Sorry Im late, I saw that Spongebob episode where he's a lifeguard but cant swim, even though they live underwater & now my brain is leaking"

"What's the motto of the Mexican army? An Army of Juan"

"An ice cream truck flips over on the highway, what does it leave? A Rocky Road"

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die... then I got Netflix, so now I have better things to watch."

"So I'm taking a Terrorism and Covert Politics class Pretty sure I bombed the midterm."

"If your wife says ""take out the trash"" do not reply with ""you cooked it you take it out."""

"You shouldn't make racist jokes about Asians who cant drive when its raining Its a slippery slope"

"On Possession So me and my sister when in a fight and she said, ""Your so possessive"", I responded, ""What about my possession, is it ok?"

"What did the worker ant say when the queen ant asked him to make mittens for all of the other ants? *Fuck.*"

"Some dude at ASU named Dean has me on his list. Honestly, I don't appreciate or understand it. Thinking about contacting the authorities."