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Joke of the Day

"*arrives in hell* *Hey Ya starts playing* haha nice love this song *song ends* ... *Hey Ya starts playing* wait no"

"Damn girl, are you bubble wrap? Because you're fun to run over with my bike"

"Mexican Word of the Day: Canoli I canoli jack off with one hand at a time."

"Being OCD and an optimist, I see the glass half full but I measure to make sure it's EXACTLY half."

"A guy walks into a bar. ouch!"

"You are one well-defined function!"

"Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees? Because they love digging up the past."

"A blind woman once told me.. A blind woman once told me I had a nice girth on my cock. But I think she was just pulling my leg."

"-So how can we help you today Mr Benson? ""Please. Mr Benson was my father."" -Alright. So how can we help you today Mr Bensonson?"

"Always hit women with a left hook... ...because they don't deserve any rights"