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Joke of the Day

"Please deposit all your anti-jokes here:"

"Take me down to the paraphrase city. Where it's nice."

"If I swollow A weener whole, will it come out the same way? I feel like it would be really good if that happened."

"There used to be an ad campaign that said ""go to work on an egg""... I tried that, the egg wouldn't move and eventually it cracked, so I went to work on a bicycle as I usually do."

"Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*"

"""I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends."" -Misery"

"I cheated on my girlfriend yesterday We were playing Monopoly, she left and I stole some money from the bank. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back"

"What do you call a baby girl who died of alcohol poisoning? Give me a blender and we'll call her a bloody mary."

"Why doesn't barbie have any kids?"