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Joke of the Day

"Why don't blacks take cruises? They ain't falling for that shit again."

"Here's to the stork that brings good babies... ""Here's to the stork that brings good babies, the crow that brings bad babies, and the swallow that brings no babies at all!"""

"Did you hear about greek porn? They can't do money shots anymore"

"Strangers have the best candy."

"I accidentally mixed the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in with the regular butter and NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE!"

"I tried to learn how to play the drums. but i'm just a beat off."

"*Wakes up in Superman's body* Me: Holy crap! I'm finally a hero! *Uses heat vision to re-heat last night's pizza & puts on Netflix*"

"I want a girl to go down on me As much as the Pokemon Go servers do"

"Don't get it. Heard the phrase ""keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir"". Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me."

"I used to trust my farts..... But then shit got real."