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Joke of the Day
"19 and 20 got into a fight... Now they're facing 123 years on disturbing the peace."
Next Joke
"Dentist: have you been flossing? [ flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip earlier ] Me: yes"
"It started with a star and ended with a restraining order."
"Hey Law & Order, please stop throwing around the word semen all willy-nilly, I'm trying to watch this with my mom"
"Make sure you finish all of your math homework, there are dumb kids in America who can't add - parents in China, probably"
"[NSFW] What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."
"What happens when you cross and owl with a bungee chord? My ass."
"Reporter: Doctor, what motivates you to care for coma patients? Me: Well, I'm just here *puts cap on Sharpie* to put smiles on their faces"
"Remember when you were at a friend's house & their folks fought & you didn't know where to look? It's how I get when Glee does a rap song..."
"What do you call an alcoholic Mormon? An oxymormon"