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Joke of the Day

"As a kid on summer nights I'd capture fireflies in a jar then show them to my father and say ""please buy me a sega this does nothing for me"""

"Why did the hipster burn his mustache on his coffee? ...he was totally drinking it before it was cool."

"So my friend held up a can of coke... And asked, ""How do people snort this stuff?"""

"A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is the sweetest thing ever."

"Had a job interview yesterday and was asked how much I was worth so I got up to leave. They ask me if there is a problem? Yes there is, I can't afford to live off that."

"What do you call an undulating pig? Swinusoidal."

"With the recent events in the news... My Facebook friends list is starting to look like the French revolution."

"How many fat people does it take to get a subreddit banned? [This post has been banned for your protected - Ellen Pao] ^^^NINJAEDIT: ^^^Just ^^^one"

"What does batman get in his drinks? Just Ice"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? It is really easy to roast beef."