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Joke of the Day

"[god on LSD creating Donald Trump What if a car alarm that constantly goes off for no reason were a person?"

"Caught my dog chewing on my law books this morning. Now he is Pro Bono."

"""Choose password"" > 123bob ""Password must not contain common names & must be complex with at least 50 characters"" > gameofthrones ""OK"""

"Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods? One was ""a-salted."""

"Q: Define Transvestite: A: A guy who likes to eat drink and be Mary."

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"Conspiracy theorists, I hope you're right... I hope the illuminati run this country, they seem like a safe bet"

"My 5-year-old refused to eat her dinner because Netflix was running slow. At least she picked a worthy cause for her hunger strike."

"Vampires are lost souls cause they can't just stop one day and look in the mirror and be like ""What am I doing with my life."""

"I lost my watch at a party the other night It fell in my drink. I guess it's drinking time."