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Joke of the Day

"Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist"

"I wanna die by getting stuck my lightning Shocking, I know."

"What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!"

"My mate went to a fancy dress party as a silent bee. ""Very subtle,"" I thought."

"How can you tell you're at a gay cookout? The hotdogs smell like shit."

"Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science."

"Another Old Blonde Joke A brunette yells to a blonde across a river, ""Hey! How do I get to the other side of the river?"" The blonde yells back ""You are on the other side!"""

"When someone starts making fun of my air guitar skills I just whip out my finger pistols and it usually shuts them right up."

"It's totally amazing how cars run on dinosaur poop or however the fuck fossils work. I'm not a dinosaur scientition over here. Fuck's sake."

"This is a motherfucking website. http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/"