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Joke of the Day

"Him: This house is perfect for us! Her: What about the kids? Him: You're right. We'll have to put them up for adoption"

"I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly."

"Ever hear about the box that was coming down with something? It was coffin"

"Context is Key She's so coy. Is she part fish?!"

"They demolished my local Domino's Pizza shop... yesterday, and then all the other shops on the street fell down."

"A woman is a lot like an oven You gotta warm her up first but then you can put your meat inside."

"I caught my friend licking my tv today. So much for the high def LSD screen."

"Headline: World helium shortage over due to discovery of helium field. Scientist: (high voice) This new supply of helium is a game-changer"

"Biology Joke When a plant is sad, what do other plants do? Photosympathize"

"My stages of awkward: Sober me: I don't know what to do with my hands Drunk me: I don't know what to do with my face High me: What face?"