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Joke of the Day

"[girlfriend talking to me but I can't hear her over crunch of my cereal] ""I think we should see other people"" Yeah sure thing, babe"

"Why are pizza makers always poor? Because they knead dough to make a living."

"I'm doomed to always think of the best comebacks the next day when the baby isn't even around."

"What's long, hard and a bit shitty at the end? This joke."

"""Risky Star"" What kind of a star can be risky? . . A shooting star!"

"I was walking through the park last night and one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another covered me in sulphuric acid. It was terrible. I didn't know how to react."

"What did the terrorist say to the waiter after his meal? ""These hot wings have made me a ticking time bomb."""

"I am as a wake as a funeral."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine keeps its pricks on the OUTSIDE"

"I got lit with my Tibetan friend once Once."