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Joke of the Day

"So the bus driver said to the string ""Are you a string?"" and the string said ""No I'm afraid not"". (A frayed knot)."

"wanna hear about the biggest conspiracy theory of all time involving millions of people dominating millions of others? feminism."

"Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds? He got the shakes instead."

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."

"What is the least attractive binary ionic compound? Iron (II) oxide"

"Just like my refrigerator... I open Reddit, just to be disappointed and close it."

"If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it... ...then my illegal logging business is a success"

"My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support."

"Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?"

"damn girl are you a mouse because your body is decomposing in my drywall"