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Joke of the Day

"Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble."

"What do grandparents smell like? ""Depends"""

"Ever open a drawer to get something, forget what it was, close the drawer and immediately remember, only to have to open the drawer again?"

"How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? When your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots."

"isnt it cool how we all accepted that we all know the names of streaming porn sites and didnt ask each other how we knew of them"

"I'll pay extra for the hairdresser comfortable with silence."

"Went off roading with my prius but ended up getting stuck on a bonsai tree in neighbor's front yard"

"The best thing about fucking 26 year olds is... there's 26 of them."

"Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me Steve' he said in the letter. 'Why?' asked his mother in her reply. 'Because that's what all the kids at camp call me' he wrote back."

"What's the most important part of an ISIS joke? The execution."