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Joke of the Day

"Theres no 'u' in family. Look, what Im trying to tell you is that youre adopted."

"What do we want ? Race-car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww"

"The executioner let me tie my own noose He said I'm getting the hang of it."

"What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist? Elrond Hubbard!"

"What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power? Cher-Mobile"

"With a margin of error of plus or minus three percent. That's how I poll."

"There are 2 types of people in the world The ones who can count."

"I'm sorry I burned down your house, but the Mythbusters told me not to try it at home and you should really lock your doors when you go out."

"When playing ""Got your nose,"" make sure the victim is willing to play. Also, that you're not at a urinal. Also, that it's their nose."

"Where did the joke wait to get a drink? The punch line..."