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Joke of the Day

"Winnie the Pooh: will u marry me? Piglet: for the last time, u don't get a literal ""honey"" moon Pooh: pls say yes I need to see for myself"

"People say drugs are bad, but I'm calling complete BS on that. I've only been on meth for 20 minutes and I'm already the king of Jupiter."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh Prince"

"Devil worshipper leader: ""Due to a typo we have summoned the wrong demon."" Stan: ""Hey there."""

"My mom told me to quit smoking weed But I said fuck it I do what I marijuana"

"The other day I saw Denzel Washington walking down the street. I shouted to him ,""Hey Denzel!"" He responded, ""Does every black man look like Denzel Washington to you?"" Classic Denzel."

"My wife said I suffer from premature ejaculation.. I told her that I don't suffer"

"""I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father."" - Spock and the guy I end up marrying."

"Why should you avoid sexual encounters with The Fonz? Because he has Ayyyds."

"[dj voice] ""What's up Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?!?"" [dads in unison] DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT"