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Joke of the Day

"Winnie the Pooh: will u marry me? Piglet: for the last time, u don't get a literal ""honey"" moon Pooh: pls say yes I need to see for myself"

"What do you call a Muslim cowboy? Dirty hairy."

"*Writes a song for you* *Sings it under your bedroom window* *You call the cops* *Your husband falls in love with me*"

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a homosexual? One's crack is in a junkie and the other's junk is in a crack."

"The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!"

"I organised a little surprise party for a girl from work. She didn't show - so I guess I'll just go back into her loft and wait."

"And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He'd tried to hang himself with a rubber band."

"2016's been bad! But today is definitely the darkest!"

"A funeral procession led by a woman and her pit bull. There are TWO hearses. ""The Widow"" by Katy Franco [Joke-A-Tini]. Funny and fun to watch. http://youtu.be/2B7Acry2pms"

"Judge: Show us on this doll where the man hurt you. Me: He didn't. But watch this. [I make the doll do a backflip] Judge: Holy shit lol"