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Joke of the Day

"I organised a little surprise party for a girl from work. She didn't show - so I guess I'll just go back into her loft and wait."

"I was once raped by a gang of mimes. They performed unspeakable things to me!"

"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it's best to just kill yourself."

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5/7"

"Just had a panic attack thinking how little time I've practiced picking up stuff with my toes in the event I ever lose my arms."

"Laugh while you can, 2016... ...you're next."

"My friend told me how electricity was measured. And I was like watt."

"A joke about Serenity [Spoilers] How do Reavers clean their spears? They put them through the Wash. Sorry."

"What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged? Notice me sin() !!!"

"My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs."