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Joke of the Day

"A funeral procession led by a woman and her pit bull. There are TWO hearses. ""The Widow"" by Katy Franco [Joke-A-Tini]. Funny and fun to watch. http://youtu.be/2B7Acry2pms"

"What is it called when Al Gore comes up with a solution to a problem? An Al-Gore-ithm. I'll see myself out."

"Gambling is like a dwarf at a barbecue... ...The stakes are always just too high"

"Repeat after me: President Trump."

"I don't think Twitter's real. I think I'm in a mall in 1987 listening to ""I Think We're Alone Now"" & my mind invented Twitter to protect me."

"Why did Thor file a police report? Because someone stole his thunder."

"How are ISIS like Little Miss Muffet? Because they've got Kurds in their way."

"What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel? A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters"

"[Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help"

"A Polar Bear walks into a cafe He says, ""I'll have a burger and.... a coke."" The waitress says, ""Okay. But, why the long pause?"" The bear says, ""I don't know. I was born with them."""