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Joke of the Day

"""Your name is Duck?"" It's Doug. ""Yeah. Duck"" Doug. ""Duck?"" DouGGG ""Got it. Duck"" Go fuGG yourself ""Haha. Classic Duck"""

"What is Jeffery Dahmer's favorite candy? Mentos."

"How an Illuminati living in the arctic is called? An Igloominati"

"What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons."

"Wrong number calls are annoying but not nearly as much as right number calls."

"I was out walking my dog when another man with a dog approached me, picked up a stick and said 'I could throw this stick a mile away and this dog would bring it back.' 'That's a bit far fetched!'"

"I was pleased with the first day of The World Cup, and even more pleased that it didn't turn into ""2 Girls, 1 World Cup"" as I had feared."

"My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will."

"Q: How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They don't have lightbulbs in caves"

"I ran out of toilet paper at Hartsfield/ATL. Then I remembered my mom had told me I could use pages from a book in a pinch. I gotta say...it's really hard to wipe with an e-book."