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Joke of the Day

"Wrong number calls are annoying but not nearly as much as right number calls."

"40% of women in the world are battered... And I've been eating mine plain this whole time."

"If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas and you will still die."

"Where'd the rabbi stay on business? The L'Hyatt"

"Maybe we should be focussing less on Goldilocks and more on why Mama and Papa bear don't sleep in the same bed anymore."

"I nearly bought a car today but had a lucky escape when I checked the fine print I discovered it had driver aids ..!"

"Michelle takes Sasha and Malia on a trip to Paris for the week. Wanks Obama."

"I told Leonardo DiCaprio a joke about an Oscar He didn't get it."

"Whenever people ask me if that pun I just made was intended... I reply, ""Nope unintended!"""

"Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? He wanted to see stars during the day."