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Joke of the Day

"I was pleased with the first day of The World Cup, and even more pleased that it didn't turn into ""2 Girls, 1 World Cup"" as I had feared."

"A skinny friend told me she's never hungry and just 'forgets to eat', so I drove her out to the woods and left her for dead. Is that wrong?"

"Come here you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all right Dad I know how !"

"A man jaywalked and got the entire left side of his body ran over. He was all right"

"Judge: Your client says he's mentally fit to stand trial correct?Lawyer: Yes, your honor.Judge: Then can you tell him to get out of my seat?"

"What did the cannibal order at the bakery? Cinnamon buns."

"Ms. Pac Man is the biggest hoe in history For 25 cents she swallows until she fucking dies."

"Why a woman doesn't make sense to a man... Actually they make 77 cents to a man."

"Me: I think the coolest sport is horse golf Guy: do you mean polo? Me: [realizing he isn't classy enough to know about horse golf] yes"

"Hitler was hunting in the forests of Germany, but he forbade the harming of male deer because... ...they were Reichstags."