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Joke of the Day

"I think Newton was actually hit by pigeon shit when he discovered gravity.. Falling of apple was just a 'dignified' cover up...!!"

"A rabbi, an Irishman, and a clown walk into a bar The bartender says ""This has to be a joke."""

"It's so weird and coincidental that everyone who likes me is cool and smart and everyone who doesn't is an egomaniacal asshole."

"I know the **BEST** way to get someone interested in something. Actually, never mind, maybe I shouldn't tell you."

"I didn't wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed, now I'm worried about my vagina."

"[FBI job interview] ""Do you have any self defense training?"" *flashback to hiding behind fence from teenagers* Yes I'm skilled at fencing."

"I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home."

"I highly recommend anything. - Stoners."

"Write a suicide note on Facebook and they try to talk you out of it. Write a suicide note on Twitter and they correct your grammar."

"You seem to like blonde jokes around here. Here is my favorite: Why did the blonde have such a terribly bruised belly button? Her boyfriend was blond as well."