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Joke of the Day
"One positive of Arnold Palmer's passing... He's six under for the first time in years..."
Next Joke
"I have plenty of jokes about unemployed people.. ..but none of them work. :3"
"My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last."
"I woke up with a raging hard on.... I called my wife over and told her to fix my clock. She said ""that doesn't look like a clock."" I responded, ""if you put a face and 2 hands on it it does."""
"When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof.... I was shocked"
"Ever notice that Reddit is obsessed with correcting mistakes? Me to."
"Hillary Clinton came out with a new campaign slogan in response to Sanders' ""Feel the Bern"" Its called ""Feel the Clit"""
"It still takes me a while before I completely trust any woman whose name is mentioned in ""Mambo No. 5""."
"Mike Tyson Mysteries is on Netflix now... Episode 1: case of the missing ear."
"me: helo darkness my old friend darkness, who just turned 30 and is totaly self-conscious about his age: cmon man im not old"