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Joke of the Day

"I received a rolex for Christmas from the lesbian couple who live next door. Now, while I am happy with the gift, I guess they didn`t quite understand what I meant when I told them, ""I wanna watch""."

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"Which state has the most progressive bathroom laws? Transylvania."
"No matter how kind you are.... German kids are kinder."
"-Honey, what made you fall in love with me? -Your mother. -But my mother lives 5000 miles away. -That's why..."
"Apparently 1 in 5 of us live next to a paedophile.. Not me though, I live next to a gorgeous 8 year old."
"Damn, girl are you a sketch on Saturday Night Live? Cause you're getting old, fast!"
"I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day. The court trial starts tomorrow."
"A white lie: ""No dear, your bum doesn't look big in those jeans""."
"Doctor: What's your zodiac sign? Patient: Cancer Doctor: What a fucking coincidence!"
"Small penises are like iPhones with cracked screens... They serve their purpose but nobody really wants one."