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Joke of the Day

"So all about these girls killing folks because of slenderman..... I guess you could say, they were a victim of anorexic culture"

"I met this really hot Geologist today. She had quite a Gneiss ass."

"Honey I won the Lottery. Overly exuberant husband came home. ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" Wife; ""Where are we going?"". Husband; ""We are not going anywhere - get the fuck out!"""

"If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?"

"A black man and an apple fall from a tree at the same time. What hits the ground first? The apple because the black man was stopped by a noose."

"So I was sitting on the toilet this morning... ...and I look over and see this huge spider. It scared the shit out of me."

"What do you call a pig sneak attack? A Hambush."

"Some relationships today will end over a ""Like"" on Facebook."

"Husband said, ""If you were really THAT funny you wouldn't have to always say COME ON, THAT WAS FUNNY."" So now I have a tombstone to select"

"'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming... Just cuz I went into the wrong house."