162676

Joke of the Day

"that kid at the public pool who kept screaming at his mom to watch him jump in grew up to be a blogger"

"In my opinion guys should only us two fragrances of Old Spice deodorant... Fuji or Timber... but that's just my two scents."

"[ice cream parlor] WIFE: I'll have two scoops of vanilla ME: me too, u could say I want an WIFE AND CLERK: please don't ME: ice cream clone"

"My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan."

"How many dead prostitutes we need to change a lightbulb ? Certainly not three, because in my basement is still dark."

"TIL Pigeons die when they have sex At least the one I fucked did"

"I love self-depreciating humor.. ..but I suck at it"

"What do a hot girl and my little toe have in common? I bang them both on my coffee table at night."

"It's OK to kiss a nun , but, don't get into a habit ."

"You don't know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself"