118395

Joke of the Day

"Which faction in Divergent has the largest number of lamborghinis? Erudite because they like knowledge a lot more than materialistic things"

"Will was killed during his first battle with the US army His comrades got confused when their commander yelled: ""Fire at Will!"""

"What popular board game do dyslexics hate? Scramble"

"If you want to rob a white person, just say: ""Stop, collaborate, and listen,"" then steal their stuff while they rap the rest of the song."

"How did the high speed car chase end? Caught eem! Hahaaa caught eem."

"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."

"[bono dressed as magician] ""think of a song any song"" purple haze ""right n- no, a U2 song"" oh ok um.. elevation? ""ok now.. check your phone"""

"Who makes more money a drug dealer or a prostitute? A prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack."

"[Border control] Officer: ""You're not American."" Me: ""Deep."" *Officer squints* M: ""Fried."" *squints harder* M: ""Guns."" ""Welcome back, Sir."""

"I went to the store to get six cans of sprite... ...But when I got home I discovered that I'd picked 7-up."