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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy asks his father for $20. His father says, ""Ten dollars? What do you need five dollars for?"""

"A psychic midget broke out of prison... He was a small medium at large."

"If ""Precious"" is based on the novel by Sapphire, ""Twilight"" is based on the catalog by Abercrombie & Fitch"

"How do you make a hamburger smile? Pickle it gently!"

"What happens if you pee on Putin's head? Urine big trouble..."

"If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer"

"So I was having sex with a girl from work... She wasn't really into it, and then to make matters worse my boss walked in on us. Long story short, I lost my job at the morgue."

"What is it called when you're looking for a body killed by a mortician? Formaldehyde and seek!"

"Can you imagine how fast those clowns who make balloon animals can roll a joint."

"What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!"