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Joke of the Day

"My neighbors loved the music so much when I turned it up, that they invited the police to listen. :)"

"[on the phone with wife] Honey, who do you like better, Hulk Hogan or Jafar from Aladdin? ""Tell me why."" [winks at tattoo artist] No reason."

"I'm not doubting that you're 1/8th Pond People, but this is a research paper. You can't cite ""BOG WISDOM"""

"A man walks into a bar He shits in it ...Sorry"

"What do you call an easter extremist? The middle easter bunny"

"I answer with an automatic ""Yes"" each time my mom says ""Oh, have I told you...?"" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim."

"What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster. ^(I'll show myself out)"

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can sleep with a light on."

"Him: I just got stung. I'm allergic. Grab me my EpiPen. Me: Do you know how much those cost? Have a Benadryl."

"Why don't blondes like M&Ms? They're so damned hard to peel."