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Joke of the Day

"Which is the oldest animal? Zebra. Coz they are still living in black and white."

"When I met you I was completely blown away because the wind was ridiculous."

"Olympic Sailing results are in! Denmark have taken gold Finland have taken silver Somalia have taken a middle aged couple who were on a worldwide cruise"

"Damn girl, are you reddit? Cus you repeat the same stupid shit over and over"

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."

"Has anyone tried giving bees heroin? I feel like bees on heroin would produce better honey. It's probably not true, but it's just how I feel"

"What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly? ""Urine trouble, mate!"""

"Jenner is a hero, and quite frankly saved some lives Had I not replaced the Jenner in my truck last week I wouldnt have been able to shift into neutral when my accelerator stuck today."

"I don't know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse."

"Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress."