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Joke of the Day

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."

"Why are all the girls in my school dressed up like OP,s mom?"

"Tampons What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing they're both stuck up cunts."

"Why do the sharks only swim in salt water? ......because they would sneeze in pepper water."

"You know why Santa Claus doesn't have any children? Because he only comes once a year and that's down a chimney."

"The strip club around the corner got its liquor license revoked. I'll still go there for breakfast, but I'll have to order the regular OJ."

"Coors Light ships cold straight from the factory. I wish other water companies would do the same."

"My life. Best joke I know!"

"[watching TV] GF: Tickle my back please ME: Is that nice? GF: Little bit higher ME: [very slightly squeaky voice] Is that nice?"

"I wish I was an elevator... Because maybe then my wife would go down on me :c"