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Joke of the Day

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."

"I want to own a basketball franchise in Miami and I want to name the team humidy... Then when someone asks if its the heat I can go ""its not the heat, its the humidity."""

"What did one lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog? They're right! We do taste like chicken!"

"Heading to work this morning there was a car parked on the train tracks, with a bumper sticker that said ""Honk if you love Jesus!"" That train engineer must have REALLY loved Jesus."

"Why did all the guys like the bus driver? She was busty."

"I like my women how I like my coffee Lactose-free and 2%."

"How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? He does lots of bare-obics."

"Q: What do you say to a dog before he eats? - A: Bone appetite!"

"There's no way the Ninja Turtles would have those ripped abs. You can't do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me I've tried."

"Have you heard of the book about airplane factories? It's riveting."