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Joke of the Day

"My kid is singing ""Mac-n-cheese"" to the tune of ""Stand by Me."" You guys just tried it, didn't you?"

"What does a mathematician do about constipation? Sits down and works it out with a pencil."

"What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for? Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)"

"I like my women like the World Trade Centers Tall, hot, and going down"

"If a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing?"

"Queer Irishman Sean: Did ya here the one about the queer Irishman? Brian: No. Sean: Seems he was spotted leaving the pub at 11 o'clock with a girl. Brian: So? Sean: Closing time's one."

"If heaven is real the only question i have for god is how many times was my chinese food a cat"

"Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it."

"Stephen Hawking walks into a bar haha just kidding"

"How can you tell if someone is an entrepreneur? Don't worry, they'll tell you"