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Joke of the Day

"at the grampys, about to anounce who won the grampy award. open envelope. its grandpa!!! you did it congratulations"

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"Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine."
"What did the German physicist use to drink his beer? Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid."
"What did the right nut say to the left nut? This guy in the middle thinks he's hard!"
"I explained gluten allergy' to my grandma and she sighed and told me they ate leather belts during WWII to keep from starving"
"A cop stops a drunk man and asks: How high are you? The man replies: This is wrong english, you should say 'Hi, How are You?'"
"Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work? His loving knife."
"It's hard to be naked and baked without wondering why the two words don't rhyme."
"Blind man ""Hello ladies"", said the blind man as he walked by the fish market."
"I understand why Jesus was crucified But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher."