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Joke of the Day

"What starts with N, has two Gs in the middle, and has no business wearing a pointy white hood? Your noggin"

"A Drinking Problem! Math Teacher: ""If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"" Student: ""A drinking problem."""

"I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket"

"What baked treat shares its name with a gynaecological apparatus? Flapjacks."

"Not now, kids. Daddy's pretending to be a woman on the Internet"

"ME: do dogs think we have three mouths because we pick stuff up with our hands? VET: where exactly is your dog ME: he's uh coming later"

"Women are like cars. We want the ones that look AND work the best, but none of us have the money."

"""Hit me,"" said the masochist. ""No,"" said the sadist"

"Did you hear about the pirate who used to walk the plank every night? Well, he couldn't afford a dog."

"Notice at Church: Don't leave your mobiles, purses, wallets, handbags, girlfriends unattended. Others may think it is an answer to their prayers."