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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to shake the hand of the guy who invented the snooze button... in like 9 minutes."

"Bad luck today, I have a bout of food poisioning AND I dropped my Galaxy Note 7 in the toilet by mistake :( Talk about explosive diarrhea."

"What does the first lady say after bad sex? Thanks Obama."

"I like my women like I like my calzones Somewhat crusty on the outer part and really gooey and cheesy on the inner part."

"If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring."

"I never thought I'd buy into Feng Shui But oh how the tables have turned."

"What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred? A hot dog"

"I once saw Harry Potter fall down a hill Jk, he was Rowling"

"Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don't get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case..."

"What did the car-painter say to the carpenter? ""You sound just like me!"""