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Joke of the Day

"*interrogating cat* Admit it! You're a Communist! ""Meow"" A no-good red! ""Meow"" Tough guy eh? ""Meow"" We can do this all night. ""Mao"" Youwait"

"Don't you hate it when... The inferior sex accuses you of being misogynistic?"

"How many joules does it take to fry a Jew? Nein joules."

"What is the opposite of a misogynist? That little pussy, Brian. Always talking about his feeling and shit like a little bitch. Fucking grow a pair, dude."

"Teacher told me to give her eye contact when I speak with her. So i jabbed my finger in her eye to touch it."

"Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons? They outgrew their leotards."

"Einstein said ""If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself."" Which I guess makes me an expert in secretive anal sex."

"It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible."

"STEAK AND SEX A: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? B: They're both very rare."

"Two atoms were hanging out... ...and one says to the other, ""Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first says, ""Yes, I'm positive!"""