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Joke of the Day

"A man was caught peeing in public by a police officer. The cop's only reaction was... ""Urine trouble now."""

"I like my donuts like I like my women Cream filled."

"Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building? It's a long story."

"[driving] Goddamn pedestrians [walking] Goddamn drivers [both] Goddamn cyclists"

"What is the difference between a terrorist hideout and a school? How should I know? I just fly the drones."

"I'm not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool."

"Hubs: You didn't do anything today did you? Me: I did the dishes. Hubs: There was only one. Me: Fine I did THE dish. Happy?"

"No wonder Satan hates humanity... We draw him as the ugliest goat alive"

"Why do first year film students like analyzing porn? It's easy to identify the climax."

"I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there."