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Joke of the Day

"A man was caught peeing in public by a police officer. The cop's only reaction was... ""Urine trouble now."""

"I meant to take Tylenol PM, but I accidentally took Tylenol PMS I just think it's funny how you guys only care about me when you want upvotes. Whatever. I'm fine."

"Whenever someone tells me ""make yourself at home"" at their house, I always clog their toilet"

"Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other 'I don't like your friend.' The other one replied 'Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.'"

"What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? Wasabi?"

"I dreamed I was floating in an ocean of soda, but when I awoke I realized it was just a Fanta Sea."

"Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are ""your house keys"" and ""your house."" Well, son, that's what drinking is like."

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had a boner"

"What do you call a person who calls themselves gay when they mean happy? A homophony."

"Walmart's hair salon doesn't charge extra to cut a live bat out of your hair."